I went to the gym earlier today. How well I rememeber my first trip there...the day I joined. I was petrified! I pulled into the parking lot and just sat there in my car. I could not make myself go in! Why? Well, in my mind, as soon as I walked in the door I just knew everyone was going to look at me and say "Look at that fat girl!" and then just laugh themselves silly. I had to call a friend and have her talk me in the door! Looking back now, I see how silly all that was. It's amazing what we tell tell ourselves and how we sabatage our progress with such negativity! I did go in and ya know what? Nobody even gave me a second glance! Now I suppose if I walked in in a neon green leotard they might look! But since I don't plan to do something that jaw-dropping, I guess I needn't worry!
I went through a similar thing the first day I ran on the treadmill. Again, my inner negative voice had me convinced I would go flying off the back of the treadmill and crash to the floor! I guess I am watching too much Biggest Loser. It's been several weeks and guess what? No crashes! Just jelly legs! LOL
Now I try to drown out the negative voice by reminding myself what I am there for and telling myself I CAN do 5 more minutes...one more mile...10 more pounds. Part of this journey is learning to love me enough to stop saying to myself what I would NEVER say to someone else. I CAN do this. I WLL do this. No matter how hard and no matter how long it takes.
I want to thank the people who have used thier positive voices to encourage me and who contantly remind me that they are on my side. Your words and notes mean the world to me! Keep 'em coming!!
No comments:
Post a Comment