No more fear

I went to the gym earlier today.  How well I rememeber my first trip there...the day I joined.  I was petrified!  I pulled into the parking lot and just sat there in my car.  I could not make myself go in!  Why?  Well, in my mind, as soon as I walked in the door I just knew everyone was going to look at me and say "Look at that fat girl!" and then just laugh themselves silly.  I had to call a friend and have her talk me in the door!  Looking back now, I see how silly all that was.  It's amazing what we tell tell ourselves and how we sabatage our progress  with such negativity!  I did go in and ya know what?  Nobody even gave me a second glance!  Now I suppose if I walked in in a neon green leotard they might look!  But since I don't plan to do something that jaw-dropping, I guess I needn't worry!

 I went through a similar thing the first day I ran on the treadmill.  Again, my inner negative voice had me convinced I would go flying off the back of the treadmill and crash to the floor!  I guess I am watching too much Biggest Loser.  It's been several weeks and guess what?  No crashes!  Just jelly legs!  LOL

Now I try to drown out the negative voice by reminding myself what I am there for and telling myself I CAN do 5 more minutes...one more mile...10 more pounds.  Part of this journey is learning to love me enough to stop saying to myself what I would NEVER say to someone else.  I CAN do this.  I WLL do this.  No matter how hard and no matter how long it takes.

I want to thank the people who have used thier positive voices to encourage me and who contantly remind me that they are on my side.  Your words and notes mean the world to me!  Keep 'em coming!!

My evolution

The date: August 11, 2010.  I have just made a monumental leap in my personal evolution. 


For many, MANY years now I have been a sloth.  Content to sit at a desk all day, then transfer slowly to the couch after work and then to slowly drag myself to the bed each night.  Using as little actual body movement as possible, of course.  Major exercise was my trip to the kitchen each evening for whatever sugary treats I could find.


My first workouts with my trainer proved that I was about as muscle-less as a person can get.  Getting used to moving was a challange.  So we started with 15 minutes a day of walking and what my trainer approperately title "couch potato exercises".  That was basically 15 reps of basic movements during commercials while I watched TV each night.  Within 2 weeks I had definately moved up to snail.  I was feeling a little more sure of myself and beginning to beleive I might, just might, be able to do this!


By the end of the first 30 days, I had made a major evolutionary jump to turtle!  I joined a gym (*ZX for Zero eXcuses) and started walking on the treadmill at least 5 days a week.  I was soon up to 45 minutes each time.  On weekends Tim and I would go to the Swamp Rabbit Trail and walk together.  We built up to about 6.5 miles within 4 weeks.  My routine included treadmill walking, couch potato exercises and 2 workouts a week with my trainer.  I realized I was feeling better, sleeping better and my sugar cravings had really subsided.  I might just be able to do this!


Still beleiving that there was a runner trapped under all this fat, I decided to try to let her out.  I was scared to death of running and looking like an idiot.  Nothing worse than seeing a fat girl trying to run and all that fat just flying everywhere, right??  WRONG!  That is exactly who we should be applauding and encouaraging!  And that girl was ME!  So I am apllauding myself for ever baby step I take.  And all of the encouragement from friend and family is what keeps me going and keeps me trying.


I'm not sure what the next evolutionary step is yet.  Right now it's just one step at a time...keep moving...keep believing...

*http://zxfitness.com/

My persoanl road to health...

I have a very specific reason for starting this blog.  I have set out on a long trip to find my healthy self.  As I have posted my progress on Facebook, I have received quite a few private messages from people who are asking a lot of questions about my journey.  I decided it might be more beneficial to use this venue.  Plus it's just a really cool thing to call myself a blogger!!


Back in July I went to Columbia and stood in line for HOURS to try out for The Biggest Loser.  I actually ended up having a great time, even though I wasn't chosen as a contestant.  Back home in Greenville, I decided that now was the time.  I started thinking more and more about trying to lose weight.  Not just dropping pounds, but being healthy and active. 


Please note that I would NEVER wear this in public
with those gargantuan arms!





My starting (and highest) weight at 252 pounds.
NOT FOR LONG!!



So my journey began officially on August 11, 2010.  In my next few blogs I will catch you up on starting to exercise, learning to eat right and the people who have been, and still are guiding me on the way.  I will try to be honest and transparent about how this journey has changed me and what I am learning about myself.  It won't all be pretty!!  But I feel sure it will have a happy ending!!

Why blog?

Well, I have now officially entered the 21st century!  Last month I got a Droid and now I blog!  okay, so I'm still a little behind...oh well!
Many of you have seen my posts on FaceBook about my journey to get healthy.  I have gotten so many great notes of encouragement and many messages asking me questions about exactly what I am doing.  I thought this might be a better way to put my information out there.  I know there are a lot of bloggers who are probably funnier and more interesting than me...okay, not more interesting...but I feel like I have a lot to share.  I am learning new things, reading new books, and tasting new and healthier food and I want to share that.  If only one person gets started on thier road to healthy and is encouraged by my blog, then I will have accomplished a lot.
So keep checking back and I will be adding stuff all the time.
Let me hear from you!